The banquet room at a posh Dallas hotel was buzzing when a
waiter thrust a tray of skewered chicken between me and two other women. The
grill marks looked appealing and the smell told me butter was involved in the
preparation. He raised his eyebrows, tilted his head and smiled. Together, as if on
cue, we shook our heads no and smiled politely. We stood in silent agreement on this issue -
there is no lady-like way to gnaw chicken off a stick.Later in the evening I was sipping the house chardonnay while speaking to an attorney at a local health care company when the same waiter offered soft tacos. Shredded lettuce spilled over the top of each flour tortilla. An orange sauce, that may have been a creamy salsa blend, had been poured over the top. The waiter had only a napkin to offer. There was nary a plate or utensil anywhere in sight. It would have taken me at least three bites to finish. The attorney snagged a taco and bit into it. He nodded his head in the affirmative, even though I had stopped talking. Lettuce spilled out and landed on the floor after his first bite. His second bite left sauce on the corners of his mouth which he then licked. He crumbled up his napkin and wiped his hands on his black trousers. Had I attempted a taco, I’m certain the sauce would have left a permanent reminder of the evening on my white jacket.
That night a lot of food went back to the kitchen untouched.
I’m certain it tasted as good as it looked, but a cave woman I am not. The
thing to remember when planning the hors d’oeuvres list for your next event is
that women want small portions. Anything larger than a cracker will likely
get waved-off. I once worked with a caterer who rolled grapes in blue cheese, making the perfect bite-sized snack. A fruit tray is an easy sell, as long as the fruit is cut in small portions. Food at these type of events should be appetizing and functional. I want the people I meet to remember me for the topical information I shared, not the food left on my jacket, or the mess I left behind.
